ATTITUDE, MANNERISMS &TALKING

Talking. Everyone communicates with another person, it doesn't matter if you can’t speak or can’t talk. There are other ways of communicating with people. Most people have heard the phrase, “think before you talk.” This doesn’t only apply to what you say, but also the tone and the mannerisms you use.

There are many reasons why we need to watch how we speak. No one can ever know what exactly is going through the next persons mind: whether he/she is in a bad mood, whether he/she dislikes it when others speak on a particular topic or even whether the person dislikes it when others speak in a particular tone. There are some people that have no problems no matter how you talk to him/her; this could be because of the kind of relationship you have with that person or the person’s character.

Everyone is different so there is a general way to address everyone and get your point across clearly without being offensive.

The very first thing to keep in mind is always accept correction when you’re wrong. No one likes a person who can’t admit he or she is wrong because this person is too proud. Such people are not easy to work with, live with or have a healthy relationship with. Living with such a person is challenging, but there are ways to get the person to cooperate with you.

• Get another person in the room who wouldn’t be afraid to tell the person that he/she is wrong.
• Listen to his/her opinion before you tell him/her that the person is wrong.
•   Do not tell the person straight away he or she is wrong. Give the person the reason why he/ she can’t be right.
• Try to get the person to know how you arrived at the right answer or point the person in the direction of the right answer so that he/she would not loose self-esteem.

There is a class of people that can be tagged psychologically as EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE. This condition makes people behave in various ways. It alters the person’s attitude around certain people or when put in certain situations. Such people usually weren’t treated nicely when they were younger because of who they were, so when around a lot of people (Usually the popular people or the most liked) they adopt a different attitude and behavior.

With such people, there isn’t much you can do to help. Emotional instability is a condition not a choice. Most of people with this condition have probably been through something when they were younger or have just painted a mental picture in their mind for a long period of time that you have to behave in a certain way to gain acceptance and to avoid being mocked. You can try to get the person to know that he or she has a problem by explaining the symptoms of the physiological disorder to the person so he or she can identify that the person has a problem and make an attempt to get better.

There are also a class of people that behave in that way because of peer pressure. This class of people should just be educated about peer pressure and if they learn how to cope with peer pressure their attitude would change.

Then there are the just plain rude. These people refuse to say simple things like please and thank you, and give snarky and cheeky remarks and short annoying answer to questions. These people should be taught about respect and how no one likes a rude person because it is just as bad as being proud and should be treated as such.

There are also people who just don’t think before they talk. They just spill out whatever is on their minds without censoring it. I’m not saying that you shouldn’t express yourself or voice out your thoughts. I’m just saying that you should phrase the things you that you say properly so you don’t offend anyone.

Now I come to mannerisms. Most people don’t watch the gesture that they make with their hands, their eyes or the tone they use when speaking. Everyone is raised differently. In some homes talking whiles someone older than you is talking, is disrespectful, whiles in other homes anything goes. This means that when with people who you weren’t raised with, you have to watch your mannerism. You have to act in a manner that is generally accepted. 

• You should keep contact with the person you are trying to communicate with. This shows that you are being attentive.
• You should stand in an acceptable posture. Do not slouch, turn your back to the person and don’t have a lazy look on your face.
• You should choose words and phrases carefully and use had gestures only when needed to
• Think about the possible reaction that someone could have to the things you say before speaking.

Truth be told when you sit down and analyze the way the people around you speak critically and look at their mannerisms, you would be appalled at the kind of things people say just because they don’t think about what they are going to say. Yes, sometimes we all don’t think before we speak but as creatures of the highest order we should be able to conduct ourselves, communicate efficiently and not let little things, like they manner in which we speak stop us from doing that.

The bottom line is that people needs to watch how they speak to others, because if you don’t watch how you speak, you could create discord without knowing it. It could be caused by one little thing you said that caused it.