Hurt and Pain

What actually is bulling? What is “Bulling” beyond its usual meaning? Bulling is not only using superior strength or influence to intimidate someone or just to force him/her to do what you want. Bulling is simply trying to break a person’s spirit, trying to change a person’s behaviour or simply hurting someone intentionally.  Beating someone and leaving them all alone creates the same feeling as when someone is constantly verbally abused, mocked and criticized. The only difference between the two is, physical pain will leave without any effort, but emotional pain takes a lot of both physical and mental effort to get over completely. Think about it, you don't remember how many times you have been physically injured but you remember the times you have been insulted, verbally abused or mocked, I can even bet sometimes you just sit down and think about all the things people have said to you.

One thing most people forget often is, WORDS CAN REALLY HURT PEOPLE! It’s so sad when you see a eight year old kid sitting alone and staring at the ground whiles his/her class mates are running about happily, it’s even more heart breaking when you ask the kid what is wrong and the kid goes like,"(Insert friends name here) said (insert mean comment)."

So what gives someone the right to bully others? What if you are white, black, Asian,Christian, Atheist or Moslem, what if you are disables, orphaned, stinky, abnormally smart, young for their class group, not so bright or have weird teeth, that still doesn't give you the right to bully someone and it definitely shouldn't make a person an open target for bullies.

Whenever you see someone looking like the weight of the world is on the person’s shoulders it’s sad and it could mean a lot of things. When that look is caused by the person being bullied it means no one has leant a helping hand to that person, the help the person was given was not enough help or the person lacks moral support. When a person is bullied for a long time and there is no one to help them through it, they begin to feel unwanted and useless. 

Everyone gets the feeling that the world is against them once in a while, so imagine someone having this feeling all the time. When you think or see someone in this mood, it might have been cause by a comment made about the person or the way the person is being treated. I advise that you try to help the person in any possible way you can, that way if you are in the person’s shoes, you know there is someone who will most likely help you.

The Quote: “Sticks and stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”

This Quote apply to just a small number of people. Words can cut deep; any form of verbal abuse can hurt someone. Giving someone the silent treatment, Name-Calling, Taunting gossiping, insulting and the list goes on and on, are different ways to verbally abuse someone.

“When people hurt you over and over again, think of them like sandpaper. They may scratch and hurt you a bit, but in the end, you end up polished and they end up useless.”-Chris Colfer

If are being bullied and you handle it right, it can make you a really strong person. No one likes being put sown so let’s try not to put other down, lend a helping hand when you can and put a smile on someone’s face.

What are "Friends"?

What are friends? I'm sure a lot of you have sat down just to think about what friends are and their use. Just think about it, what it will be like if the people you call friends only came to talk to you when they want something from you or they have no one else to talk about class gossip.

If that's how your "friends" behave than they are not your friends! Friends not are people who only talk to you or hang with you when they need something like company, money, your time or your notes. Friends are definitely not people who come to you only when they need something from you or when they have nothing else doing with their time. In this time that is what most people’s friendships are like.

   

A friend is someone who genuinely cares about you, is there for you in good time as well as the bad. A friend is someone who doesn't care what others say about you and will always defend you. A friend is someone who corrects you when you are wrong, tells you the truth but tries not to make it hurt and is not shy to be with you when other people are around. Friends are people who make an effort to understand you till they don't need to make an effort to understand you any-more. A friend is a person who you can argue with without being mad at you and a friend is there for you always. If what you consider as a friend is anything but these, the person may just be using you or might just be around you to pass the time.

Are you able to tell your friends anything and everything? Most people can't do that with their friends and be sure they will understand them, will not criticize them or make fun of them. I'm not saying you should not have little secrets, I'm saying you should be able to talk about most things without having that voice in the back of your head telling you not to tell then because they will laugh at you.

Like everything else friends can be grouped, there are;

1.     Close friends 

2.     People you get along with

The people that you get along with can also be divided into two groups; 

1.     People you like to talk with to pass the time  

2.     People who you talk to just for the sake of getting something from them or because your other friends are not there (Using them for whatever you want or need)

We all have used someone before, whether it was intentionally or unintentionally. Most of the times it’s not something you plan on doing, it just happens and if it’s done knowingly there is no good excuse for just using another person, it is simply cruel and unjustifiable. Why not try to actually be friends with the person (people) we have used, that way we can actually have the right to ask the person for help.

One thing most people don't realize is you can be a friend to anyone and everyone. You can be friends with that old lady who lives in you neighbourhood  you can be friends to the weird kid at school, you can be friends with that eight year old kid which talks a lot and you can even be friends with your teacher.

“When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares.”― Henri J.M. Nouwen

The above quote shows what a real friend is; let’s hope we can all relate to our friends like this because that is true friendship.